New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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