we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
