real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
