I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Randomize
