it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
