apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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