i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
