Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
