bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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