My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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