Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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