Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
