dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
