She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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