Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
