Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
