i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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