It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
