is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
