just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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