I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
