I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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