What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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