Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Your penis caused this!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
