I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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