we're blogging at a bar
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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