Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
