AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
