get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize