At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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