I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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