he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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