whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
