doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You took a bar mat shot.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
