every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
