**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
do nipples grow back?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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