I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
