so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
