im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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