why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize