I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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