My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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