Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
