Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
