I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
