is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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