Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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