windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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