I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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