I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He's on the porch naked. Help.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
