gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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