I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
please don't ironically join a cult
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