Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
