i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
