It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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