i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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