just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she peed on how many people?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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