i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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