So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
