Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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