I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
